


Sheriff’s Secret Police Phone Records, File [Data Classified]

by chibiwonder



Series: Small Difficulties [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen, Sheriff's Secret Police, Sheriff's Secret Police Transcription Files, Small Difficulties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:40:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1411939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibiwonder/pseuds/chibiwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The phone call that occurred the day of Episode 44</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sheriff’s Secret Police Phone Records, File [Data Classified]

**Call Recorded April 1st, 2014**

**Subject(s) Observed: Carlos (?), the scientist; Carmen Márquez, his sister; Cecil Palmer, radio host**

**Location: Kitchen of Subject**

**Transcripted By: [Data Classified]**

_(Descriptions of Subject’s movements indicated where available, because Farris needs to put her cameras in a more advantageous position. Incidentally, Farris, we told you to get the records of the scientist’s last name ages ago. You’ll be up for re-education at this rate.)_

**Carlos:**  Hello?

 **Carmen:**  Hi, it’s me.

 **Carlos:**  Carmen?

 **Carmen:**  Yeah. Thought I’d give you a call, I don’t think we’ve talked since… last month?

 **Carlos:**  Something like that. What’s up?

 **Carmen:**  I could ask you that. Any luck on that one house, the one that… Oh, it’s on the tip of my tongue.

 **Carlos:**  The one the doesn’t exist?

 **Carmen:**  Right! That’s the one.

 **Carlos:**  I’m not sure. We might have had a breakthrough, what with Dana’s spontaneous reappearances and all, but she doesn’t talk to me so much, so there’s no way to interview her about it. Ah…  _(Observable pacing and discomfort present in Subject at this point. Farris, the cameras need to be moved ASAP, we could only see him for half of this conversation)_  I don’t think I can say anymore.

 **Carmen:**  Oh… Kay, then. Well, I’m glad you’re doing sciency things that I don’t understand.

 **Carlos:**   _(Subject smiles, then paces back out of view. Dammit, Farris, my job is hard enough without having anything to transcribe)_  Well, you’re doing business lawyer-type things that I don’t understand, so we’re even.

 **Carmen:**  You never ask about my job, actually.

 **Carlos:**  Would you want me to? I doubt I’d give much of a sympathetic ear, I don’t get that kind of thing.

 **Carmen:**  True enough. How’s Cecil?

 **Carlos:**  Cecil? He’s been under a lot of pressure from work lately, but he’s doing alright, I guess. We’ve taken in the station pet for a little while, and--

 **Carmen:**  Station pet?

 **Carlos:**  Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you. The station Cecil works at has a cat, Khoshekh. He was, um, attacked recently, so he’s had to move out of the station for a little while, and he’s staying with us.

 **Carmen:**  With you guys? Oh, that must be miserable for you.

 **Carlos:**  Cecil got me some Claratin. I’ve been okay so far. I don’t think Khoshekh is quite a normal cat, anyway.

 **Carmen:**  Well, why would he be? Sorry, though, were you going to say something else?

 **Carlos:**  Oh, I was going to tell you that Cecil’s selling Girl Scout cookies on his show today. Or, he was. His show is over now, but he had to go pick up the cat from the vet, so he’s running a bit late coming home.  _(At the point the Subject has paced back into view, and is rolling his sleeves up, with the cordless phone tucked between his ear and his shoulder)_

 **Carmen:**  Cecil was selling Girl Scout cookies? Why?

 **Carlos:**  Well, his niece is in Girl Scouts, and she’s not very good at selling cookies, so Cecil decided to help her out by buying…  _(Subject grabs a cookbook from nearby surface and begins to flip through it)_  Well, actually, he bought all of the boxes he could afford. He brought most of them to the station today, but we still have a few. Samoas and those… those lemon ones, whatever they are.

 **Carmen:**  Oh, that’s so sweet! I didn’t know Cecil had a niece, actually. Is she around Cate’s age?

 **Carlos:**  Oh, yeah, his sister’s daughter, Janice. I only just met her a couple of days ago, she’s actually… eleven, I think? Now that I think of it, I haven’t met Cecil’s sister just yet… She’s out of town right now.  _(Subject sets the open cookbook on a countertop and paces out of sight again. Damn it all, Farris)_

 **Carmen:**  Is it weird, I never thought he had an extended family?

 **Carlos:**  Well, not entirely, no. He doesn’t talk about his family much. But I guess he had to get that talent with children from somewhere.

 **Carmen:**  It does explain why he’s so good with Cate, you’re right. Did he manage to sell all of the cookies?

 **Carlos:**  Well--

_(Second Subject, Cecil, enters the front door holding a cat carrier, which he opens, letting loose a Cat. Cat limps off to kitty bed, Second Subject is briefly lost to view as he makes his way over to the kitchen. Farris, I swear, you had ONE JOB)_

**Carlos:**   _(Subject paces back into view and smiles)_  --He’s the first to admit that he’s not a good salesman, but yes, he did sell all of them, except the ones we kept.

 **Cecil:**   _(Second Subject smiles)_  Who’s that?

 **Carlos:**  It’s Carmen.

 **Carmen:**  Is that Cecil?

 **Carlos:**  Yes, it’s Cecil.  _(Truly, a riveting exchange. Cecil says things for a living, so how can he be so boring sometimes? We may never know)_

 **Carmen:**  Can I say hello?

 **Carlos:**  Care to say hi, Cecil?

 **Cecil:**   _(Second Subject removes coat)_  That depends. Is Catalina there?

 **Carlos:**  Is Cate there, Carmen?

 **Carmen:**  No, she’s at a friend’s house.

 **Carlos:**  She’s out of the house, Cecil. Just Carmen this time.

 **Cecil:**   _(Second Subject mock pouts, though I think I detected some sincerity. After the day he had, I don’t doubt he’d want to talk to a happy, sheltered child away from **completely fictional**  dangerous harm)_ Oh, drat. Well, put her on, then.

 **Carlos:**  Okay, here you go.  _(Subject passes the phone to Second Subject, and paces out of sight again, Farris, you moron)_

 **Cecil:**  Hello, Madam Márquez.

 **Carmen:**   _(Laughter)_  Cecil, only my Carlos calls me that.  _(Possible duplicate of the scientist? Someone should look into that. Not Farris, though)_  And even then, he only does it sparingly.

 **Cecil:**  Well, I felt like being a bit dressier today.  _(Given his current outfit, I doubt this very much)_  How are you?

 **Carmen:**  Just fine, a little frazzled wrapping up a big case. I admit, I’m partly calling for a distraction.

 **Cecil:**  We could all use a distraction sometimes.  _(Second Subject walks out of frame. Farris, I swear)_

 **Carlos:**  Cecil, I’m trying to make dinner.  _(What in the name of the Brown Stone Spire just happened? I’m willing to guess, but I’d rather know, FARRIS YOU DOPE)_

 **Carmen:**  Are you tormenting my brother, Cecil?

 **Cecil:**  Tormenting? Oh, good heavens, no. Just playing around.

 **Carmen:**  How’s your niece… What was her name?

 **Cecil:**   _(stiffly)_  I’m sorry?

 **Carlos:**  What’s wrong?

 **Carmen:**  …Cecil?

 **Cecil:**  …Sorry, it’s been a long day. Janice.

 **Carmen:**  Excuse me?

 **Cecil:**  Her name is Janice. And she’s… fine. And, hopefully, she will remain fine. She’s very excited to go on her cookie-sponsored Girl Scout camping trip.

 **Carmen:**  I see. Well, I hope she has fun.

 **Cecil:**  So do I.  _(Second Subject paces back into view. He appears worried, though I can’t see his expression very well, FARRIS. Honestly, this transcription was way more difficult than it needed to be, if there had been more cameras in place. Anyway, Second Subject appears worried… No, concerned. He appears concerned)_  I hope she stays safe and happy out in the desert… as you would, of course.

 **Carmen:**  Of course. Well, I’ll be sure to tell Catalina you said ‘hi.’

 **Cecil:**  Please do. Tell her that Uncle Cecil really misses her a lot.

 **Carlos:**   _(Chuckles)_

 **Carmen:**  Will do. I have to go now, nice talking to you again.

 **Cecil:**  Goodbye, Carmen.

 **Carlos:**   _(Calling out)_  Goodbye, Carmen.

 **Carmen:**  Goodbye, you two.

**[Transcription ends]**


End file.
